Having to move with my Mother to live with my Aunt and Uncle who I had only met a few times in 16 years, changed my life completely.
Saturday August 10th 1850.
Dear Diary.
I hate it here at Papa’s brother Uncle John’s House, I can’t believe Mother bought us here when Papa died. I had only ever seen Uncle John maybe three times in my sixteen years on this earth and at Papas funeral I didn’t like the way he looked at me and Mother ,he kept whispering to Mother when we get home from the cemetery about what I didn’t know , but I thought it was very rude of him..
Two weeks later Uncle John came to our house one evening, Mother had contacted him because we were only three days away from having to leave our little house and we had no where to go ,and we did not have any money. Papa had lost everything including our house gambling, before he did what he did to himself, leaving Mother and I on our own with only a note to say he was sorry. Mother sat in her chair most evenings explaining to me that she thought Papa was working in the office of one of Uncle John’s company’s, but he had been found out altering the accounts books to cover up the money he had stolen to gamble with and had been let go months before . Because he was Uncle Johns brother charges had not been made, or else he would have ended up in prison.
That night two weeks after the funeral which Uncle John paid for he sat talking to me while Mother made some tea, but I didn’t like the way he kept looking at me ,I was his niece, but he seemed to keep looking at my breasts not at my face. After we had finished our tea Mother said she needed to talk to Uncle John alone, so I was sent to my room .I said goodnight and climbed the stairs to my bedroom,I didn’t know what was wrong but I thought Mother had tears in her eyes when she kissed me goodnight. After a few minutes of being in my bedroom I blew out the candle and slowly opened the door in the darkness and crept out onto the landing where I knelt down and looked through the balusters.
Mother was sitting on the couch but I could see she was wringing her hands , I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but every so often Uncle John would say things out loud like he was angry, he said things like ” it’s up to you “, and then a little later ” don’t act like a child “, and suddenly he got up and said ” I am leaving, remember it was your choice “.
Mother hurriedly got off the couch, I heard her saying ” no no don’t go”, and she dropped to her knees in front of him holding his legs. I saw the smile on his face , but it was more of a sneer than a smile. Mothers voice was very week, she must have said something like “sit down” because Uncle John went back to the chair he had been sitting on and Mother remained on her knees and crawled to kneel in front of him.
I could not hear what he was saying ,but I was amazed as my Mother reached behind her back and started to unbutton her dress , she took her arms out of the sleeves and let it fall into Uncle John’s lap, her breasts totally exposed. I had never seen my Mothers breasts before I didn’t realize they were so big . I didn’t know what to do, I knew I should go back to my bedroom but I was scared to move so I just grabbed the bottom of the balustrade to steady myself. I watched as Uncle John reached out and took hold of my Mothers breast’s in his hands. Mother gave out a little squeal and I could see him squeezing her breasts like he was milking a cow . He did this for a little while then he whispered something to her . I swear I heard Mother say ” Amen” like she had said a prayer , what ever she had said Uncle John found funny and laughed out loud, as he put his hand on the back of my Mothers head and pushed her face slowly into his crotch area.
When he let her go she lifted her head off his lap and I watched as her hands went to Uncle Johns trousers and she slowly started to undo the buttons one at a time, until she pulled open the front of his trousers and pulled his thing out of his underwear. I grabbed hold of the bottom of the banisters,I had never seen anything as big as that on a person, I had seen little boys things when we visited friends who had children, and I had seen drunk men doing pee in the alleys , but this willie of Uncle John was massive. I heard Mother say ” your too big ” and he laughed again, ” you will get used to it ” he said as Mother bent her head forward and he pushed the his big thing towards my Mothers mouth .
Two or three times she pulled her mouth off his Willie, gagging and coughing, each time he would laugh and Mother would take big breaths , before opening her mouth wide and putting his willie back in her mouth . I don’t know why, but I suddenly realized my hand was pushing my nightgown against my honey pot. I am embarrassed to write this down in my diary ,but the first time I ever touched myself down there, it happened when I went to bed after talking to my friend Sally on the way home from school, She told me her married sister came to stay at home while her husband went away hunting for the weekend, and she said she came into my bedroom when I was going to bed and we were sitting on the bed and Sally asked her sister what it was like to be married.
She said “it was wonderful especially at bed time”. Sally’s sister said, “when you get married Mother will tell you when your husband comes to your bedroom then just do what her Majesty Queen Victoria told all women to do, just close your eyes and think of England “. She told Sally all the things her husband does, like licking her honey pot with his tongue , and putting his willie in her mouth for her to suck like she was a street whore. Then when he put his thing in her cunnie she said it was fantastic because her husband would spurt his juice in her and she could feel it and it would make her have what the doctors call a fit, but it was a wonderful feeling, she liked fits but not to tell their Mother or she might be angry and make her go to see the doctor who might stop her from doing it with pills.
I watched as my Mother took Uncle Johns willie out of her mouth and held it in her hand , she started rubbing it up and down, Uncle John was saying things I could not hear then after a little while he suddenly said out loud ” suck it ,fucking suck it ” and Mother lowered her head and put his thing back in her mouth. Her head was bobbing up and down when he lifted his bottom off the chair ,and he started making faces and his body went all stiff. Uncle John cried out ,” aaaggghhhh” grabbing hold of the back of Mothers head , he was holding her head and making loud noises. Mother was waving her arms in the air and making gagging noises she was trying to push him off her but he shouted ” swallow it bitch swallow it or else.”
It went all quiet ,I could feel my heart beating fast inside my chest , I was scared they would see me and I watched as he let go of my Mothers head, she lifted her head up and his cock came out of his mouth and she was trying to get up, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to her knees .He held her tight and said I told you to swallow it, now swallow it. Mother made gagging noises like she was going to be sick I didn’t know what was happening but I didn’t think Mother liked it.
The journey to our new home had been a long unhappy one,we were both sad at having to leave our little home, friends and neighbors , but it had been reclaimed by the bank that had loaned my Father his gambling money and we had no choice but to leave.
Aunt Susan who was very pretty and her daughter Miriam who was my age and who I had not seen since I was like six years old and looked very much like her Mother were happy to see us, and we settled in to our new home very quickly . The house was huge, Mother and I had our own a sitting room at the end of the first floor landing. I had a bedroom next to our sitting room and Mothers bedroom was the other side of the landing, Miriam’s was a little further up the landing next to her Mothers and Uncle Johns was opposite his wife’s. There we several guest bedrooms on the same floor, and the end bedroom was occupied by a pretty maid called Elizabeth who looked after cleaning and making up our rooms each morning.
Thursday August 15th 1850
Dear Diary.
Uncle John is staying in the city which turned out to be something he did most week nights, but business this weekend meant he would not be home for another eight or nine days . Aunt Susan said at dinner ” that night Uncle John had sent his apologies and she was sure he could not wait to get home and see you both” she said smiling at my Mother. Mother looked awkwardly at Aunt Susan,who clapped her hands in joy and said ” don’t worry, there are no secrets here in this house “. Mother blushed and looked away towards the window. I wondered if Aunt Susan knew what had happened at our house but I dismissed it, how could she ?
21st August 1850
Dear Diary
We had just finished dinner, Mother and Aunt Susan had retired to the Parlor , Miriam said, ” lets go for a walk in the garden, it’s so hot here inside the house” . We walked down to the river , and sat on the grassy river bank. The sun was still warm even though it was late in the evening , and I had to admit to Miriam that it was very pretty not like the dark dirty city streets where we had lived.
” What do you think your Mother and my Mother are doing ” asked Miriam giggling ? ” I don’t know I said, ” talking I guess “. Miriam laid back in the grass laughing, “you think so ” she said playfully punching me in my hip. ” I don’t know I said ,what do you think there doing.” She just kept laughing, and said ” oh I don’t know, just talking I guess ” and she burst out laughing again. ” What are you laughing about ” I said slightly angry at her teasing me. ” Do you want to see what I think she is doing” she said looking at me with a serious look on her face. It was my turn to laugh, ” I don’t know do you think I do “. ” Well you probably should before Daddy gets home” she said ,” I don’t want his arrival to come as too much of a shock to you “, she said getting up.
“WHAT” , I said loudly ,totally confused at what she had just said, ” what are you talking about ” but all she said accompanied with a big sigh was ,” just don’t make a fuss and don’t make any noise do you understand “? I tried to talk to her on the way back to the house but she kept running away in front of me every time I asked her a question. When we got to the veranda she stopped and looked at me. ” Do you know anything about what men and women , and women and women do when it is bedtime ” she asked? I felt stupid like I was a child being chastised ,” of course I do ” I said angrily, she laughed and said well ” “in that case do you want to see what our Mothers are probably doing, well at least mine will be ,I don’t know about yours”. I said ” of course I do ” so she opened the French doors ,whispered” take off your shoes and ssshhhhhh.” I said ” “why don’t we just go to our bedroom and take off our shoes”. She looked at me and grunted, “I don’t want anyone to know were in the house “she said, “just do as I say”
We crept up the stairs, and she put her ear to Elizabeth the maids bedroom door, she looked at me and smiled. Opening the guest bedroom door next to Elizabeth’s bedroom and we went in. Miriam started to unbutton her dress and told me to do the same. I hesitated, ” come on there isn’t enough room for both of us if you don’t take your dress off ” so I did as I was told.
Miriam opened a cupboard door, she held her finger to her lips and then she climbed up on a big wooden box , and put her hand out for me to take and climb up. Standing next to her in the almost dark, she spread her arms open and suddenly began to remove a section of the wall in front of our faces.She put the big piece of wood down on the box in front of us and pointed at me to look through the gap.
I felt my legs go like jelly, there on the bed just a few feet in front of me was my mother completely naked with Elizabeth the maid laying between my Mothers open legs, her mouth on my Mothers Lady Jane . In the chair at the side of the bed Aunt Susan sat naked, one of her hands was rubbing her breasts, and pinching her nipples, the other hand rubbing her honey pot. I stepped back and almost fell off the box, I could see Miriam bending over and laughing into her hand. I sat down on the box, and put my feet on the floor, I could not believe what I had just seen.
I got off the box and walked to the bed,sitting on it I tried to contemplate what I had just seen. Miriam came and sat next to me, she whispered ” are you OK” .I nodded my head up and down to say yes. Was I really OK, hell no I wasn’t this was the second time in as many weeks I had seen my wonderful Mother behaving like a street whore, I could not believe what I had just seen. ” Do you want to come back on the box” she whispered, I shook my head no, she smiled and said ” wait here for me I need to put the block of wood back “.
Miriam was in the cupboard for many minutes, in the end I walked back over to where she was standing, she squatted down and whispered “come up come on up and see”. Some what reluctantly I climbed up on the box and looked through the hole in the wall. Aunt Susan had taken my Mothers place on the bed, my Mother was almost sitting on Aunt Susan’s breast, I could see her rubbing her Lady Jane up and down Aunt Susan’s mouth while Elizabeth greedily licked Aunt Susan’s honey pot. I wanted to look away ,I wanted to get off the box ,but I was transfixed, I stood there watching the three women do things I never knew women ever did, it was almost hypnotic watching them. I jumped when Miriam touched my bottom with her hand, “watch she whispered in my ear watch your Mother ” she said and I felt her gently take hold of the hair that hung down my back , and as she started to tighten her grip on my hair I felt her lifting it and kissing the back of my neck,. I tried to turn but she held me tight ” watch you Mother, go on watch her” she said breathing heavily as she kissed my neck again, “watch her she is going to have a sweet death any second ,watch ” she said as my Mother began to cry out loud rubbing her cunnie had into Aunt Susan’s mouth before she fell forward over Aunt Susan’s face and screaming into the goose feather pillow telling anyone that could hear her how much she loved Aunt Susan.
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