My ex-boyfriend kept everything at his apartment, and he wouldn’t give it back. So, I had to wait for him to be away at work…
I broke up with him, because he started to get domineering, and abusive out of bed. In bed was great, I actually liked it when he called me names, twisted my arm, and smacked me around a little.
Not too hard, but he changed. He used to be able to tell the difference between rough sex, and actually dating a “Slut.” I’m not a slut, and I never was, but that was just part of the scene, until it wasn’t.
He started getting paranoid, and accusing me of sleeping around on him, for real. Finally, I got fed up with it when he hit me. He just slapped me, just as hard as he used to playfully. In bed, but this time he did it out in public, and grabbed my arm.
“Don’t lie to me!” Hard, he shook it so hard it hurt.
“Let me go, you’re hurting me!” Finally, some people had to break us up. That scared me, because if he was going to lose his temper like that, right out on the street. I knew he’d only get worse, and if we’re alone together, he wouldn’t hold back.
I felt stupid for going out with him in the first place. Knowing what kind of guy he was, and finding it attractive. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but even as a little girl. I got crushes on the bullies, and even started getting turned on when they beat up younger boys.
I don’t know, I guess it started when I was around 10, or 11. Starting puberty, and the growing pains were all in such sexual places. They stung my nipples, so I pinched and scratched them. Imagining the worst of the boys grabbing them, pinching and twisting them. Biting them, until the pins and needles started further down.
Between my legs, especially when the pubic hairs started growing out, then became long enough to pull them. Pinched between my knuckles while I looked around for things stuff inside me roughly. Basically rape, and sexual abuses.
I fantasized about rape, and being sexually abused to get aroused, and masturbate, until I found a boy that was willing to listen to me? I mean, I didn’t really want to get raped, or hurt. I just pretended with him, and after he was done, he took me out on dates. Other than the rough sex, we’re a pretty normal boyfriend/girlfriend couple.
But there was a dark secret, I enjoyed hiding the dirty things we got into from my friends, and family. I’d come to school satisfied, and my friends could see it on my face. Ask me about my “Hot date?”
“Huh, yeah.” And lie about how romantic it was, how gentle, and loving he could be. They could hardly believe it, because they knew him from school, too. He did change for the better, for a little while. Stop pushing the freshmen around, once he had me to take it out on, but it didn’t last. He moved out, and got his own place.
It’s not much, but it’s safe? I mean, it’s a secure building, but I knew the code to sneak in the loading dock, and up the cargo elevator. I rubbed my arms, shivering, and trying to look around, but there’s too many bittersweet memories from here. It’s practically a cage, and the door slides down with a solid crash that triggers me.
Like a jail cell door, when I was locked in here with Him. His belt, and his strong rough hands. His sharp teeth, and the handcuffs to hang me from the bars in the corner, right over there.
“HhuhuhuhH!” I jumped when it got to his floor, and stopped. With that crash, I just pulled up the doors, and got out. Pulling his spare key from my top by the chain around my neck. He talked about collaring me, and by that he ment 24/7 Submission.
I can’t do that, I have a life, or I have to get on with my own life, without him. He’s just so overpowering, and a part of me is tempted. Deep down, I know he’d take me back, but inside the door. I hung the key on the hat rack by the door, and grabbed a trashbag for the clothes, in the closet.
Remembering his belt tight around my wrists, hanging in the dark between the hangers. Waiting for him to come get me, but I shook my head. Stuffing the clothes in the trash bag, and just trying to get it over with. Throwing out his Police hat, his button fly pants, navy blue with black stripes down the seams. The shirt with the patch to pin the badge on.
The leather belt, with the handcuff holder hanging right there. I bit my lip, and just wadded up fishnet to stuff in the bag. Yeah, he bought all these for me, but what is he going to do with my crotchless underwear, the bras with half cups, so my nipples stuck out for him to pinch, twist scratch, and bite?
“Hhuh, fuck!” He’s not here! I know, I know. If he were home, then I’d never be able to escape, he’d have me, and lock me away forever. Throw away the key, and only open the door to use, and abuse me. That’s his fantasy, and I can’t do that.
“I CAN’T. I can’t, I’m sorry, I know you want a sex slave 24/7, but I just can’t do that. I can’t be that for you, or anybody else, you know that. I need a life, I need to get my own life, and this, control freak. BULLSHIT!”
He’s too much like my dad. I know that, I knew that when we started fucking, and I had to bite back the word daddy, because I realized that’s just how he treated mom. Stay at home mom, housewife. She doesn’t even have an identity of her own, besides how she relates to her husband, and children.
She even talks like that, “My husband. My children,” she’s as much a prisoner as me. I mean, I would be if I stay. If I come back to him, or if I’m here when he gets back from work. Finally, I finished collecting all the clothes I couldn’t wear at home. What are you kidding me? There’s no way he would let me go out, dressed like that.
Like a whore, honestly. That was our favorite game. Cop, and whore. Vice Cop, “Well, I might be able to let you go. Let’s work something out, come on. We’ll talk on the way…”
“Huh!” I closed my eyes, and braced myself in the elevator. “HhuhHhuh!” Shivering, but the sound of the gate crashing. The motor letting out cable to lower me down to the ground floor, for the last time. I feel cold, breaking out in goose bumps, and a cold sweat, knowing that I’ll miss this place. I already miss it, and I miss him, but the man he used to be.
It buzzed, and I felt heavy. Rolling to a stop, but when I turned around. “Huh!” I dropped my bag when I saw the black gloved fingers, gripping the bars, right inside the sensor boxes. “Oh, it’s just you.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I just came to pick up some things.”
“It’s still breaking and entering,” they pointed out. “We can still have you arrested for trespassing.” Finally, the black gloves slipped back, out of the bare bulb in the center of the cage. I squinted through the bars, but I could barely make out their pale blue collars through the stripes of light.
2 of them, security guards, wearing masks. Of course, you got used to people wearing masks along with everyone else, but without the sensor blocked. The doors could open, and I could hear chains jingling in the darkened hallway next.
The short chains, between the latches on their handcuffs. They must have turned off the lights, but I could see the square window, all the way on the end of the hall. The door to freedom, I just had to get past these 2.
“Huh!” I relaxed, and took another deep breath. Said the line, I’d said it so many times before, I could just hear it come out of my mouth. Buzzing in my head like a robotic monotone. “Maybe we can work something out.”
“You better come with us.” They grabbed my arms. “Don’t resist, we don’t want to hurt you.” I just went limp, but they picked me up, carried me back to the lobby. Through the doors between the main elevators to the security office.
“Huh, I know that prostitution is illegal, but maybe you can let me go, for a freebie?” The uniforms weren’t quite right. Honestly, it never really did it for me, that was his thing, but I smelled his apartment. Him in His apartment, at least they let me out of there? At least they took me out of the elevator, where they had footage from the security cameras, of course.
“We have you dead to rights. How long did you think you could get away with this, whore?”
I just shook my head, closed my eyes, but I’d never seen myself like that before. Yeah, in the mirror, dressed up like a whore, but not chained up in the corner. Right across from the security camera. “You had a camera in there?”
“Of course!” Good Cop laughed, “Not technically inside the cage, but brackets to the outside, pointing in!” He bragged.
“We’ll ask the questions here.” Bad cop stepped in between us.
“Well?” I looked up, right in his eyes. “Go right ahead, and ask. So what, I’m a whore. You think I’m ashamed of that? If I were, I’d go to a lot more trouble to hide it.”
“Mh.” He nodded, and looked back.
“So, you guys want to intimidate me all day, or you want to fuck?” I never dared do this before. Topping from the bottom, but this is different. They’re not Him, and knowing that they’d been watching all this time. Saving my videos, and probably jerking off right there in the chair.
Maybe taking turns while the other left to make his rounds. So, he had the security monitors to themselves. “What’s wrong, you afraid he might see your dick, and like it? Why don’t you go for a walk, rookie? Why don’t you leave us alone, it’s a little crowded in here. You can have sloppy seconds when you come back.” He left, but I said “Don’t go jerking off, save it for me?” He looked around, paranoid, and put on his hat. He practically slammed the door, so I turned back to the Big Bad Cop. “Now, where were we?”
He pulled up my sweatshirt first, then turned around to unhook my bra. Bent me over the desk, and held my face up against the screen, but his strong hand gripped my neck. The leathery thumb dug in behind my jaw so hard, I could feel it starting to bruise. I’d gotten to the point where I loved seeing them, the marks of shame almost as much as covering them up. Pulling back my hair, and wiping away the makeup to look at what his fingers did to my neck. My arms, my black eyes, and the welts left on my back from the lash on his whip.
He took a moment to unbutton his fly, and roll on a rubber. Then, he stuck his fingers down the back of my tights. Gripped and ripped my thong away, so the crotch hung between my legs. “This what you want?”
“UHN!” Without another word, he sank into me. Bottomed out, then pulled back to slam in with another brutal thrust. “YEAH!”
“Huh, slut. Loose ass slut. I can barely feel it you’re so lose.”
“Uh huh?” I was practically soaking through my panties, and my tights. The whole time, before I even got to his apartment, let alone through all those memories, and fighting the urge to stay. “I’m hot.” Of course I’m lose, “I’m so hot for your big hard dick, give it to me, give it to me rough, I can take it. You know I can.”
“Huh!” He pulled out? So soon, but then he moved right up to press it up against my back door. “See how you like it in here.”
“HN!” I pushed it out, immediately. Of course he loved anal, and he made me love it too. The harder the better, the dirtier the better. Just to suck my shit, and his cum off it when he pulled out. Even barely damp from a couple pumps into my wet snatch, the rubber was slippery, but pushing out, I stretched easily over the spongey head, and he slowly worked his hard shaft deep in my bowel.
“Huh, that’s more like it. So tight, huh! Yeah, your tight little ass. Teeny tiny tight virgin ass!”
Oh, “Oh, oh god! Oh my god, Jesus! What are you doing to me?” He doesn’t want a whore! “What is this, I’ve never felt something like this before, nobody ever told me something so bad could feel so good!” I squealed, but his grip went lose, and his other arm wrapped around me. Holding my shoulders, hugging me. Breathing hot, and heavy on my ear. It was loud, but he finished quick.
“Huh!” He sank back in the chair, panting breathlessly, while I clenched tight, and held my ass. Turning around, and sliding the keyboard out of the way to sit on the desk. “So, that’s what it is, huh? You’re into virgins.” I may look like a virgin, in fact I got really good at acting like an innocent virgin at home, and school.
“Huh, yeah. You know that schoolgirl costume you have? Did you bring it with you?”
“No,” I left that at home. “You want me to come back, after school some time?” That was one of the few things my father would let me wear, because I don’t have to dress up like a Christian schoolgirl. I was one. Yeah, it was coed, instead of an all girls school, but you can’t tell that from the uniform. Of course, I met my boyfriend there.
Correction: My ex boyfriend. “Huh, yeah. That would be great.”
“Better yet, why don’t you come pick me up from school?”
“Wait, you really are a Catholic Schoolgirl?”
“No? Episcopalian, Saint Marget’s? Scottish Rite, it’s founded by Freemasons, but it’s the same kind of school. Private school, but you better call your partner, before his balls explode.”
“Huh, yeah.” He finished buttoning his fly, and let me tell you. That’s one thing I always hated about the uniform. Zippers are a lot more convenient, you know? “Let me get these cuffs off.”
“Oh, no. That’s okay, I’m good.” I shrugged. I didn’t get used to being handcuffed, I love it. It’s still a turnon, and I still had one more security guard to do.
He got his wallet out, said “I know you’re not really a prostitute, but I can’t help feeling like I owe you.”
“No, I wasn’t a whore. Now, I’m free to do whatever I want with my life, and I need the money for rent.”
“How much money?”
“Let’s talk business after you go get the rookie, huh?”
My father always said, as long as I live under his roof, I live under his Rules. Well, that didn’t work, and I always liked being called a whore. It makes me feel special, it makes me feel like my sweet ass is worth something, so I thought about that. Fishing a fast food bag, with some napkins in it to wipe my fresh fucked asshole still handcuffed.
Maybe $200.00? $100.00 a hole, he fucked both, so that’s fair, and I’m just getting started.
About time I made it official. It turns out the trainee was Catholic, so we said The Lord’s prayer together. Especially the part about forgiving me my Trespasses, as we forgive those that Trespass against us? Yeah, he took off the handcuffs, and he was gentle. A little too gentle for my taste, but a deal’s a deal.
Besides, $300.00 was a down payment on my own apartment…
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