All Hallow’s Eve
We didn’t get to do Halloween, because it’s pagan, but because it was on a Sunday this year, we put on a big show after church. We didn’t have a stage, so we put it on in the sanctuary, and got to go back behind the alter. I always wondered what was back there, but it just turned out to be a hall for offices. The deacon let me use his office for a dressing room, since I was the only girl, but there’s not a whole lot of female saints, and martyrs. So, I dressed up, and went out to the stage. They moved the alter, so I could step up to the microphone, and say: “I’m Wilgefortis Uncumber, and I was supposed to marry a Muslim. I prayed to God that He would …