Not everyone is able to tell themselves outright that they have an addiction. We can have different types of addiction and we usually associate alcohol, drugs and extreme sports, for example. Not many are able to say that they are addicted to sex, or simply to masturbation.
It seems quite normal that we satisfy our needs, explore our bodies, and simply relieve our stress by masturbation, jerking off, whacking the capucine, slurping up our testicles, getting it on, and many, many other terms that we guys like to use to avoid talking about onanising ourselves.
Playing with the penis started at a very young age, which probably happens to all of us, of course I mean both sexes. However, girls rarely admit that they play with their spats, while boys make vulgar jokes about it and praise themselves for being very manly and forward, because they got themselves laid once again. Personally, I have never liked to boast about it to anyone or tell anyone about it, not even to my closest friends did I tell them that I have a growing need to have fun with myself.
I have been fighting this addiction for some time now, but it is not an easy and equal fight. You have your penis with you all the time, and the availability of any porn stimulus is at your fingertips, be it from your computer or your phone. However, one should probably start at the beginning, which is when it started and the person didn’t realise all this, that this is something that will start to be very addictive, yet destructive in its own way, although many believe that there is nothing wrong with indulging yourself.
Getting to know your body is not a bad thing. Pulling your dick along with your balls out from under your underwear, inspecting it closely, pulling back the foreskin and seeing how sensitive the glans is, is nothing wrong either. Stimulating yourself as a teenager every day, several times a day, and continuing to do so until adulthood is no longer completely normal.
Apart from what I described in one of my memoirs about how I started to masturbate and learn about the pleasures of sex with women and masturbation, I also remember once finding an erotic toy in my mother’s drawer – a pretty big and stringy vibrator of a strange pale pink colour, the kind you’d find in old mail order shops and they usually came across as very vulgar and rather rather unperfect. It was quite puzzling and to me as a kid and I didn’t understand why anyone would need such a toy, although at the time I didn’t consider it a toy as I didn’t know it was for playing with. It wasn’t until some time later, when I saw on a video tape with porn films that I accidentally found, that a woman was playing with such a thing when she put it in her pussy, that I understood that it was a kind of filling in for what she was lacking, namely a male penis.
A few years later, when I was already “almost adult” teenager, I began to take an interest in the subject so as to have my own sources of excitement. In a very strange and twisted way, I found more and more new sources to play with. One of these was the erotic magazines that you could buy in newsagents. Yes, I’m old enough to remember such newspapers, they were in virtually every newsagent’s, but they were only available for adults. When I started searching for different titles, I wanted to buy them too. Through a lot of trial and error, I managed to find out in which kiosks the salesman or saleswoman didn’t give a damn about who he or she was selling the adult newspaper to. In this way I started to acquire quite a large collection of different titles. Some were more or less titillating, others were sometimes a total disappointment. Some of the pictures that appeared there have stuck with me to this day. It was the same with various interviews and articles from which I learned about new forms of sex, new practices, or the tastes of different people. I myself was also dislocated in my own way by this, and could not then carry on as normally through my life as I might have thought..