I Fucked Your Wife
Dear Charlie, I fucked your wife. It happened yesterday. This letter containing this news will only be sent to you in the event of my death. That will hopefully not be too soon. I know I lead a reckless life, but if I’m lucky I should still be around for a long time. I’m fairly certain that if I sent this to you before my passing, it would only hasten my demise, a prospect I don’t particularly relish. And, I wouldn’t want you to go to prison for killing me. After all, I am your best friend. So, though I do have the greatest desire for you to learn one day that I fucked your beautiful, sweet wife, I am taking the cowards way out and leaving this letter with my attorney with the instructions …