I know, you might call, me a “Drug Dealer,” but seriously, it’s just a little pot. I got a Medicinal Marijuana prescription for my Social Anxiety, but that’s like an ounce a day, and while I guess I could smoke that much, some people aren’t so lucky, and the money’s good.
I’m just saying, it’s a victimless crime, even if it is a drug, and not medicine. Recreational use is probably going to be legal here soon anyway, and maybe I’m just ahead of the curve? If people want to abuse it, and move onto much worse drugs, like Alcohol for instance. I can drive stoned, and not get in a wreck. I might get lost, but that’s just a waste of gas. There’s much worse crimes you could pay attention to.
Like what? Well, I know one man, he’s a child molester, how about that? Well, okay. So first, let me tell you how I found out about it, okay?
I was over at this guy’s house. Arthur, I don’t know his last name, but I can show you where he lives. We got a deal? Look, all I’m asking is you look the other way, just this once, in return for a much worse danger to little kids.
So anyway, he got some money from his grandparents, for Christmas, and he wanted to spend it on some pot. He also got some posters for the garage from his parents, and they totally know he smokes it, because you know the UV reactive ones that look like an acid trip, in a blacklight? Well, when i showed up, he was all like “Check this out,” and his little sister.
Well, that’s who this is about, really. She was in there, checking out the new posters, and stuff, but he told her to “Go play,” while he got out the papers, and rolled up a joint. That’s kinda part of the deal, at least the good customers will smoke you down while you’re there, but once he finished twisting one up, he turned off the lights to show off his new posters in the blacklight. I guess they got a 6 pack at Spencers, or whatever, because there were 6 of them, but then we got high, and lost track of time, until Daphne came back home, so he had to let her back in.
She locked herself out, I guess, because he had to let her in the garage door, and all the smoke went out when he opened it. Look, he’s almost 18, so even though I know he’s underage, it’s really no big deal, am I right? Never mind, I guess you want to hear about Daphne after all now, so we got a deal? I know you’re recording this, so all you have to do is say it.
Shake on it? Okay, so that’s out of the way, as soon as she showed up, I started packing up my stuff to leave, but he closed the door, so the only light on was the blacklight, and the first thing we noticed was the glowing stains in her hair. Now, we had no idea she even snuck out, let alone how long she was gone for, but apparently, when he said “Go play,” she heard him say go Out, and play, so she got dressed.
Put on her duck boots, or at least that’s what she called them, because they were yellow, and rubber, like a rubber duck? Yeah, a coat too, and you remember that snow storm we had before Christmas? Well, it was after that, so it wasn’t raining, but all the snow, and ice melted, and it was still wet. So, she just put on a jacket, but not her rain coat, because it wasn’t raining, she said.
Then, she went out to play in the puddles, you know how little kids like to jump in them, and splash around? Well, she’s like 6, or 7, and when she got back, she was dry. She even told him that she didn’t jump in any puddles the whole way home, but she got cold, and wet. On the way out, then a nice man took her in, and helped her warm up.
First, he took off her wet clothes, and then he hugged her until she stopped shivering. She said his hands were really warm, and he rubbed her legs until they warmed up. Then, he touched her between her legs, until she thought she had to go pee. So then he showed her the bathroom, but she said it was a false alarm. She didn’t have to pee after all, she just felt funny in between her legs because he touched her there.
Then, he pulled out his boner, only she didn’t call it a boner. She called it his thing, but she pointed at Arthur’s crotch when she said it. Then, a long story short, he beat off, but because she’s so little, he shot some of it in her hair, because he was so much taller? Then, he hugged her, and kissed her goodbye, and got the clothes out of the drier, so she could get dressed, and go home. She said they were warm, and snuggly when she left.
This made Arthur real mad, and he asked me if I could come with to his house to beat him up. I said sure, I was down, but we didn’t go through with it. He wouldn’t let us in, and he even threatened to call the cops, but he didn’t. Arthur called him a child molester, and yelled it loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, but I talked him out of calling you guys, on the way back. Because I was carrying, but also because he let her get out all by herself, and get molested, so it was kinda his fault. He knew that he would get in trouble if his parents found out, so he told Daphne not to say anything about it, and take a bath when they got back, so then I split.
I sure wasn’t sticking around to see if he changed his mind, but I wrote down the address just in case. Not is, the child molester’s? Yeah, I don’t have it on me, but if you talk to the DA about our deal, and set me free, I can go home, and get it.
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