Continuing where I left off, I was 13 and knew Andre was fucking me while I was passed out from my meds, I could even tell when he did it since I would wake up with my butt sticky, and I got used to sometimes not taking my meds so I could know what he was doing he never really did much different, sometimes it would be sideways but most of the time he would go on top of me and fuck me prone bone, and sometimes he would lube his dick, but most of the times I would feel a cold tube in my butt injecting lube inside, and sometimes I could hear my dad and his mom fucking in their room and it seemed to turn him on because he would go rougher and multiple times, he started to slap my butt hard or grab it very hard and sometimes hurt.
One day as he was fucking me and I didn’t take my meds I was laying down on my arm and it was hurting but I tried my best to act like I wasn’t awake but when he started getting rougher and close to cum his weight was to much that I moan “Ouch” and moved my arm and he got spooked and stopped moving and stayed still with his dick balls deep, but I think he couldn’t hold it and he started cumming and kinda humped a bit as he came like he couldn’t stop, until he was done then felt him pull out and he got up and went to bed, I stayed in bed like I was asleep but after a few minutes I looked at him to see if he was asleep and he was staring at me, that moment I froze, he clearly saw that I was awake, so I just cover myself, turned around and tried to sleep which took forever.
Next day I was scared for what he was going to say but he looked just I scared as me, we acted like nothing happened but kinda avoided each other, and for a few days was like that, but after that I think he noticed that I wasn’t going to tell anyone, so that night I was laying down on my phone and I saw him taking his clothes out saw him putting lube in his dick and he started jerking off was first time I was seeing him like that with lights on, so he came over and didn’t even say a word, just pulled my underwear down, and got on top of me I felt the weight of his dick on my butt all slippery and wet, he slapped my butt and grabbed my butt hard with both his hands and played with it then felt pushing my butt cheeks open and start shoving his dick inside me and soon he fucking me prone bone, he held my waist as he went on fucking and I wasn’t holding my breath anymore so I moaned quietly so it would make to much noise, and he fucked me until he laid down on my back as he went rough and came inside me and stayed like that with his dick inside me, recovering his breath and moving his dick slowly do it would get too soft for few minutes until he could go another round and after he was done I felt him pull out and he kept pulling my butt cheeks apart so he can look at me filled then go to bed leaving me feeling used.
After that it didn’t really matter if I took my meds anymore, he would get on me as soon as he could, so before I slept he was on me, and even sometimes I was waking up in the morning with him fucking me. If it was daytime we weren’t alone or they weren’t sleeping het, He would make me suck him, he just come over and start rubbing his dick on my lips until I opened my mouth and I had to let him cum in my mouth or he would cum on my face making a mess and worse since I didn’t want anyone to see me like that and hard to clean and it could smell. I started using what he was doing to my advantage, like if he was on the laptop or on the video game and I wanted to use or play with it I go and ask him and kept bugging him and he eventually get mad and try to make me suck him or fuck him in exchange and I went along with it, sometimes he only let me use if it I sat on him, we would lube his dick and make me sit on him with his dick inside me, and he would hold my waist and move me back and forward and than ask me to ride it and as messed up as it sounds I’d do it.
Then when I was 14 it started being too much he would interrupt anything I was doing for him to use me as he pleased, and I couldn’t do anything about since, if there was someone around I didn’t want them to find out or hear so had to comply and if we were alone he was way stronger and bigger he just pin me down with his strength and just keep me there with his weight and make me let him fuck me. One day we were alone he had a friend over he was also 18 and I found out he told a friend from hearing them, so he came over both of them started to get naked and get the lube and I freaked out, but they didn’t care, I couldn’t believe he wanted to share me with him, I said no but I couldn’t win him alone so I did less with 2 of them, Andre held me down and his friend just shoved that tube in my ass and filled it with lube I cried but didn’t matter, then made me suck him, soon andre started fucking me and they took turns while one fucked me the other made me suck him and just watched me getting fucked, they’d slapped my butt so many times that I got bruises, since I am very white it wasn’t that hard, after they were done I just heard them from the a far laughing and his friend wanting to be come over more.
That was my lowest point that I couldn’t take anymore, I finally understanded how fucked up it was what he was doing to me, so I started to avoid him as much as I could I would lock myself in the room or the bathroom when we got alone and I made noise to wake our parents if he tried anything but I couldn’t avoid him, he would get on me as soon as I was about to sleep or just wait me fall asleep and after he was fucking me I didn’t have the courage to make any noise since I didn’t want them to find out, and if I locked myself if I needed something that I had to leave he would use that time to get me, and even with me saying no and for him to stop, he just say for me to shut up and that he knew I like it, that I slept in underwear to provoke him, and it has been years and I always let him and that I was his now and there is no going back. And even though I liked it sometimes I don’t know why or didn’t care he did it, the times I didn’t want to it didn’t matter if I cried or tried to fight it he didn’t care he went on.
I kept thinking how fucked up it was and kinda felt like it was my fault like why did I sleep only with my underwear when I was 10-12, and when I found out why didn’t say something or try to stop it, why I always let it happen and even enjoy it and get hard sometimes, and why did I sometimes agree to let him use me in exchange of something that he was already supposed to share.
He was 18 and still hasn’t dated anyone since he was very nerdy and annoying and wasn’t good looking. Most people didn’t like him, and when I was 14 I started dating girls but since I was the only one he could get to he didn’t let me go, and since I felt guilty and embarrassed I never tried telling on him. Eventually I got used to it and accepted that he took advantage of me abused and raped me and I kept letting it happen I know I was too young to understand but I enjoyed it so some part of me must liked and want it, so I could either tell on him or just enjoy and I would have to deal with it, so I made my decision, and stopped fighting it and went back to enjoying or using it to my advantage.
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