I am a fifty-eight year old widow and mother of a seventeen year old son. My husband died in an automobile crash several years ago when returning home from his Friday night drinking bout with his buddies. I have remained single and unloved since because I don’t drink and go out to bars and the men I meet at church are either too young or too old. It has been my practice since my son was a baby to lie in bed with him until he fell asleep. At first I would tell him a story or read one but later we would just talk. One evening when he was sixteen I felt asleep myself instead of returning to my room as I’d always done. I awoke several hours later lying on my side and I could feel something hard pressing against my bottom. I rolled onto my back and from the dim light through the window I could see the bulge in my son’s pajamas. My son was fast asleep and I had an overwhelming desire to touch an erect penis which I hadn’t done in years. As he remained sleeping soundly I felt it gently from outside his pajamas. He didn’t stir so I slowly slid my hand inside and took hold of his erect penis. It had been such a long time it felt wonderful and I slowly began to stroke it. He remained in sound sleep so I stroked it harder and harder until it seemed to explode with pulsating volumes of semen covering my hand, his lower body, and pajamas. At this moment he awoke and gasped Mom! I quickly withdrew my hand and wiping it on my nightgown started to climb out of bed, but my son grabbed and held me. I immediately began to cry and gasped I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t be mad, please don’t hate me. My son held me and replied no Mom, I’m not mad and I don’t hate you, in fact it felt wonderful. Oh god son I sobbed, are you sure? No Mom he said, it was wonderful and if you ever want to do it again it would make me so happy! I contacted to cry as he held me tightly against his chest and slowly caressed my back and my bottom. Thoroughly exhausted I soon fell asleep in his arms. It must have been hours later when I felt him take my hand and place it back on his penis which was again erect. Unable to escape his grasp I grasped it again and slowly began to repeat what I had done earlier. He had in the meantime removed his pajama bottom and after his seed had again spilled out wiped up with them and kissed me gently on the lips. In confusion and remorse I somehow relaxed and again fell asleep. We slept late and when we awoke it was well past time for school. I scurried to prepare his breakfast and hurriedly wrote a note to explain his tardiness. He returned that afternoon after baseball practice as if absolutely nothing had happened the night before. We had dinner, he did his homework, then we watched a little TV before going to bed. For the first time in my life I didn’t go to his bed to put him to sleep. I lay there tossing and turning in guilt and remorse about what I had done. I slept fitfully until sometime later I heard my door slowly open as my son whispered Mom! He then came and sat on the side of the bed and took my hand. Son, I said, what we did last night was wrong, it was evil and an abomination in the Bible. We must never do it again or even think about doing it. But Mom he said, I don’t think it was evil and I can’t think about anything else. In fact it was the most wonderful I’ve felt in my life. I love you as much as ever if not more so and I don’t want it to stop, ever! As he said this he slowly lay down with his head on the pillow next to me and grasped my hand even tighter. I was so confused I didn’t know what to say so I laid there saying nothing as he guided his hand back to his erect penis. He wouldn’t release his grip and just as last night I couldn’t restrain myself from grasping it again and stroking him to climax just as the night before. Later we repeated the action and for the next several days as well. In spite of my continued grief and regret in the back of my mind I realized I had enjoyed every minute of it. As the days went by he would kiss and caress me more passionately and fervently. Then on a weekend night he went farther than he’d ever gone. He caressed my breasts and ran his hand under the top of my negligee and his bare hands made them tingle. Unable to pull his hand away I could do little but allow him to continue. He then pulled up the top and began to kiss, lick, and suck my breast until my nipples were rock hard. Still unable to stop him I could but enjoy the feelings. As he continued to make love to my breasts he slid his hand to caress my vagina from the outside of my negligee bottoms. His next move was to slide his hand inside and rub my vagina as he slid his finger along looking for my slit. When he found it, hot and wet as it already was his finger slipped easily inside and my clitoris grew erect through the stimulation. The heat within my body began to reach boiling point, and unable to resist he pulled off the bottoms and his penis was soon between my legs and thrusting deeply into my vagina. It didn’t take his young penis long to climax, but in the absence of sexual stimulation all these years, and with the fever consuming my body I climaxed almost simultaneously, as our tongues fiercely explored each other’s mouths. We collapsed in each other’s arms and during the night we fornicated twice more. In spite of my grief and regret I was unable to resist him and for over three months we made love every night before I finally sought help and advice about my situation.
There was an older lady I knew that had supposedly been quite a beauty in her day that after being much sought after married a wealthy man. He had died years ago but she continued to live well. We had become friends during some charitable work we were both engaged in and I had come to gain respect for her common sense and worldly views. She was also known for being quite tight lipped and refusing to spread gossip regardless how juicy a story it might be. It was her I turned to for advice. Confiding in her one day she thought reflectively for several minutes before replying. Does anyone else besides me know about this? The answer of course was no. Does your son exhibit any signs of psychological damage or distress because of this? No was again the answer. Other than your present state of guilt and remorse have you changed in any adverse way? No again I replied. Well as long as you continue in the privacy of your own home and never allow anyone else to know, and since there’s no danger of you becoming pregnant. I see no good reason why you shouldn’t continue enjoying each other and making each other happy, as long as it’s mutually acceptable to you both, I see no reason why you should stop. Her advice lifted a great weight from my shoulders, and I returned home in the happiest frame of mind I perhaps had ever known. I welcomed my son to my bed that night with a glowing smile and a passionate embrace and our wonderful times together have gone on for well over a year without any thought whatsoever about ever giving it up.