Luck Is A Lady

“Your mind seems to be elsewhere tonight. Is everything alright?” “I’m just thinking about all the bookwork I need to get done this week.” This afternoon’s activities had left my head spinning. I was unsure for whom this tête-à-tête was; Tom or me. I couldn’t help but feeling that Kate wanted Tom and me together. For sure, she had gone first with her boyfriend. She tamed the beast and took the edge off. But it was the way she directed him with me that had me wondering. Her reprimand to Tom kept ringing in my head: ‘You enter a lady respectfully.’ And she made sure he did. Nothing unclean, but very gently, with love. She supervised us up close. She had not the slightest jealousy watching her boyfriend and I get intimate; indeed, she pulled us together. And I thoroughly enjoyed being with Tom. The way he held me in his arms as he kissed me. The awe on his face as I had my way with his girlfriend. How gentle he was. I felt so comfortable with him. But he was Kate’s boyfriend. And I had my own boyfriend. Did I feel better with Tom because he was new? Or because he was so loving and tender? Or that I just plain liked him better? “I know you’ve had a lot of work lately,” Bill sympathized. “We can go back to your house and I’ll help you get some of it done.” I kept wondering if Kate would rescind her invitation once she thought better of it. I hoped she wouldn’t because I was looking forward to being with her and Tom again. I wanted to be a part of Kate’s beautiful intimacy. I …
wanted Tom’s tenderness again. I wanted Kate to be there to chaperone us. That’s where the guilt came in. I felt guiltier for wanting Kate’s boyfriend than I felt for betraying Bill. A boyfriend is just that: a boyfriend. We had no commitment and were free and unencumbered. But to want your friend’s boyfriend, that was different. I felt like a scoundrel. “Thank you, Bill, but now is not the time. I don’t have the head for that right now. But you can take me home where we can just relax. Maybe watch TV or I can put on a movie. That’s about as deep as I can get right now.” We ended up back home watching a movie in the dark. Bill was truly sensitive to my feelings and wanted to comfort me. He started getting amorous and while I wasn’t an active participant, I didn’t push him away either. He held me affectionately and tried to assuage my turmoil. “You’re very uptight. Lay down,” Bill instructed. I did and Bill started a neck and back massage that wasn’t nearly as good as Kate’s. He undressed me as he continued. He had me totally naked on the couch. His touch was comforting. “I like you better shaved,” Bill said fondly, tugging me. The first time Bill saw me bald he nearly went wild. He couldn’t stop looking and touching and kissing me. He moved to kiss me now. “Not tonight, Bill. I don’t think it’s a good idea.” After that afternoon’s activity I was a bit sore from Tom. “I want to relax you, Laura. Just lay back and let me indulge you. It’s my treat and my pleasure.” I tried to hold …