Mom’s fault

Mom married my step dad when I was young. I only rent him as my dad . My real dad I never met.
I rent dad and mom fighting a lot when I was younger.
Now that I am older. I realize most of the fight was mom’s fault. Dad never knew but mom cheated on dad alot. Mom was very petite . Guys would hit on her alot. I can remember one guy in particular that worked at grocery store would talk to mom while we was there. I remember him because the first time I saw him at our house . Dad was at work and no. Would go in Bedroom with him.
She parked in back of parks lot at Walmart and would get in car with him telling me to watch movie and set up her phone for me to watch.
I think I knew what she was doing at time.
She would pick fights with dad I think out of guilt.
Most the guys I see her with back then were older.
Mom was about in her 20 s and mom would be talking to men that had gray hair. One guy I knew was janitor at our school he was 42. When I got older I remember listening to mom when she had sex. I was close with dad. Mom would pick a fight for an excuse to leave. I think now to go fuck someone.
This is what people would not understand.
I loved my dad. I felt sorry for him he would never take mom’s bitching out on me. But some would say he did.I don’t remember the first time. But I got foot at calming dad down and making him happy. I am not stupid this was 20 years ago.
And you could call it grooming or whatever other physiological word for it. Most of fights with mom was over her lack of sex drive with him. Trust me she had a sex drive.
I knew every time mom was being a bitch I would have to calm dad down and make him feel better.
I got foot at it.
And liked dot it. I was getting older. I huge dad and he just pushed me down gently and I knew what he needed. I was 12 now. And dad let me pull his cock out and I would suck him off. I liked how he held me. Ran his fingers through my hair and tell me how good I was at it as I would make love to his cock with my mouth. Dad was not big. At 12 looking back my cock was alot the same size as his. He would come alot and I learned to swallow all of it. This particular time I got hard doing it to him. I was in my underwear like I was alot in mornings .
Dad noticed it and had me show him. He sucked me that dad for first time.
I really thought I was gay back then. Until I started dating girls when I was older. I just liked being with dad.
And still today I am 48 dad is only guy I was ever with.
Looking back all the guys mom was with she was a bad mom.
She had sex with men with me in-room.
When the guy would get a hotel room.
I usually sit in chair or other bed while they did it. Mom would put cartoons on tv.
I remember she would tell me not to pay attention to them.
One guy I remember was doggy style with mom and he looked at me smiling and mom was facing the wall. He would lean so I could see what he was doing and I watched as he fucked her. Mo thought I was too young to understand and tell the guys that.
I remember I asked mom one day in way home. What it mean to come in you?
Mom said what?
You told him to come in you what does it mean?
She laughed. Oh it just mean to rub me he was giving me a massage .
I remember asking dad if I could give him a massage
It was when I was 13 or 14
Dad said sure I had just made him come. He laid down and thought I was going to massage him. I know what it is now. I said no get on your knees. And I got behind him. As soon as I started to fuck him he said that’s not a massage. But he said you want to try it? I said yes. He let me. Told me to be easy.
It felt amazing . Dad didn’t like it. So the next time he said he would trade off with me on blow jobs.
We carried on our relationship for years.
After I was married we did.
It’s out secret.
I don’t care make fun of me in comments.
But I didn’t have to jerk off when I was younger.

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