True confession about sex with my drunk mother

When I was a teenager my parents divorced and Mom was drinking way to much. I really hated her when she was drunk. I hated the smell of alcohol and she wasn’t the same mom that raised us. I’m the second oldest of six children and our father left us with no child support or alimony. Mom was a full time house wife and mother until he deserted us. She was having a hard time being all alone. She would get drunk and want me to dance with her in the kitchen late at night telling me how much I’m like my father in looks and personality. I didn’t like to hear that because I hated him for leaving me and us. She would be so drunk she would pull me tight to her body and make me dance with her. One night she was standing in front of me in the kitchen and she had a funny look on her face and right in the middle of the kitchen she started to pee standing there looking right at me while she was peeing. Then she pulled up her dress and then pulled down her pantyhose and underwear right in front of me and threw them in the sink. While she was doing it I was able to see her vagina and her pubic hair. I had never seen a grown up woman nude before and never seen pubic hair. I didn’t have any pubic hair yet. Then she went to the bathroom and filled up the bathtub and when she walked back into the kitchen she was completely naked. She picked up her drink and finished it and said come on and dance with me and pulled me to her body. She was completely naked and Mom pulled my face right against her boobs with her hands and was telling me how much she loves me and misses me. Then she called me Larry which is my father’s name. I could feel her pubic hair rubbing on my stomach she kept on saying I really miss you Larry. Her nipple was in my cheek and I just wanted to get away from her. She went back to the bathroom and I ran to my bedroom. Lying in bed all I could think about was how she looked nude. She had big dark areolas with long nipples and brown pubic hair. I wasn’t even interested in girls yet until that night and now all I could think about was how her nude body. I went back down stairs and found her passed out cold drunk sleeping in the bathtub snoring loudly. I stood there and looked at her nude body and for the first time in my life I was sexually aroused. I didn’t want her to drown so I tried to wake her up but she never woke up or moved a muscle. That’s when I was curious about what her body felt like so very slowly I reached down and touched her boob and was amazed that her nipple got really hard and long while I was feeling her boob. She never moved so I wanted to feel her pubic hair and reached into the water and felt her pubic hair which was soft and fussy and that’s when I found the slit between her legs. Moving my fingers around I was able to slip two fingers inside of her vagina while she was so drunk she had no idea what I was doing.
That night my whole life changed. Now all I could think about was how mom looked nude and I couldn’t wait for her to get drunk again. I would stay up late at night waiting for Mom to get drunk and pass out cold drunk sleeping so I could go look at her nude body and feel her up. All of my first sexual experiences were with my drunk mother. She was the first grown up woman I have ever seen nude. She was the first woman I have ever felt touched tasted and had sex with in my life. She would get so drunk she never said anything to me about it. I would suck on her nipples while fingering her and I tried eating her out and I used her hand to masturbate with. About a year later I found her passed out cold drunk sleeping on her side completely naked and from behind her I could see her vagina and I thought if I could get behind her I might be able to experience sex with her from behind. After I stopped shaking from fear and excitement I got into position and easily slipped inside of her vagina and within seconds I was cumming deep inside of her vagina. This was the first time I have ever had sex and the excitement and the feeling of being inside of her vagina was the greatest experience in my life. She never woke up or moved a muscle the whole time and I was able to experience explore and learn about the opposite sex from my drunk mother.
This all happened back in the 70s. It was the greatest experience of my life being able to experience sex with my drunk mother when I was a teenager. She never said anything to me about it and I wondered if she noticed all the sperm I left inside of her vagina and on the bed sheets and her body. This went on for six years until she stopped drinking. I still think about it to this day and I have to go and masturbate thinking about how great it was to be able to experience sex at such a young age.