I had a friend over to play when my big brother molested us.
It was summer, and Beverly was in 2nd grade with me, so we had to be about 7, while he was 11. We had a sandbox in the yard, and Beverly showed me how to play “Catbox.” She dug a hole, then scraped sand over it on all 4s. Making “Meow meow” noises, but she didn’t make any pee, or poop. I didn’t even realize it was a bathroom thing, but then Randy came over, and petted her. Scratched her under the chin, and she tried to purr. He said “Good kitty,” and patted her on the head, then he went, and left us alone.
I blamed her, for years. I know she was just innocently playing, but I couldn’t blame him, he was my brother. She went home, but later he came in the living room, rubbing his crotch. I had gotten ready for bed, but then he sat on the couch, pulled down the front of his underwear, and showed me his boner. I never saw it stiff before, but I’d seen him pee. He played with it, and I forgot all about the TV, watching him.
Finally, he took my hand, and put it in his lap. Wrapped my fingers around it, and said “Like this.” He basically jerked off with my hand, and petted my hair. Then, he took a deep breath, and held it, but he just had a dry orgasm. It shriveled up, and he pulled his underwear up. (He just wore a teeshirt, and briefs to bed in summer.) Then, he went to bed, and left me to finish watching TV.
Mom, and dad were already in bed, watching Late Night. After that, he started asking me about Beverly, and when she could come over again. He showed me his boner, and played with it in front of me. He “Let” me play with it, and petted my hair, but he kept asking me about her. So, I knew he liked her, and invited her over to play again. He asked her if she was staying the night, and I didn’t tell her about his boners.
I blamed myself for that, for years. Finally, she came over to play, and Randy ran out. “Beverly!” He picked her up, hugged, and kissed her. Then, he took her in the back yard, and put her down. Now, I know that my brother is responsible, for everything. He groomed me, and took advantage of our relationships, but it took me years to look past what I did next.
I saw that he had an erection when he put her down, and pointed it out. “Show her what you can do with it!” He backed up under the window so mom could see him open his pants, pull down his underwear, and play with himself right in front of us. We just sat there in the dirt watching him, but he took a deep breath, and I said “He’s doing it!”
“Doing what?” She looked over at me, but I just pointed. “You’re missing it!” There wasn’t much to see, just another dry orgasm, but he’d masturbated with my hands enough for me to feel it twitching. He just slowed down, and went soft. Let his breath out, and panted like a dog. Fixed his pants up, and went back inside.
So, we went to play in the sandbox until her mom came to pick her up with Groceries. I guess she dropped her off to go shopping, so she didn’t bug her to buy her candy, but then her mom came around to the gate, and gave her a treat. She held it up out of reach, and told her to “Be good.”
“Okay, mom.”
“Promise.”
“Okay, mom. I promise.” So, she gave her the candy bar, and drove home. We shared it in the back yard before it melted, but we got our hands sticky with the caramel. Then, we went in to wash our hands, and mom asked her what she wanted for dinner. She said “Bisghetti and Meatballs,” but Randy was nowhere to be seen. Mom got a wet washcloth, and wiped the chocolate off our faces, but we didn’t see my brother again until dinner.
He avoided eye contact, and didn’t say anything until he said “Excuse me.” I thought he was sad for some reason, when really he was embarrassed. With mom, and dad there, he was on his best behavior, and afraid of giving away what he’d done. I didn’t even know what he was doing was bad. He was my brother, my big brother, so he could do no wrong. Just like my dad is the richest, and strongest man in the world, and mom the prettiest.
After dinner, me, and Beverly took a bath together, but the door was locked, so he couldn’t get in. He was waiting out in the hall when we came out in towels, and followed us in my room. He closed the door, and asked Beverly if she had anything to wear to bed? So, I went and got out nightgowns for both of us, and gave her one.
She puled up her underwear, the same ones she took off to wash up for bed. They were white cotton, but instead of polka dots, they had tiny flowers of all different colors, but she pulled them up under her towel. Then, we dried our hair, took off our towels, and put on my nightgowns with Randy sitting on the bed.
He kept looking up at the door, scared that mom, or dad might come in to check on us, but they didn’t. When he got up to leave, I heard the audience laugh on the TV in their bedroom. He said “Goodnight mom,” and kissed her goodnight, then “Goodnight dad,” and shut their door on the way out.
Beverly and me watched it from the door, then giggled. “Is he going to get a boner again?”
“What’s that?” He never called it a boner, stiffy, or hardon. He never said much of anything, more than he had to. She shut the door, and came over to whisper. ‘like he did when he kissed me, in the back yard.’ She poked me with her thumb, so I stepped back, and she pinched it with her fingers. Holding her tiny fist in front of her crotch like a ball bag.
“Oh,” we giggled, but I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
We found out soon enough, when he came back with a magazine under his night shirt. “Sh!” He shut the door quietly, and we got up on the bed. He sat down with us, and told us a story. Making it up as he went along, he showed us pictures.
Basically, 2 teenagers were fooling around in her bedroom, and pulling each other’s clothes off. “Then, she licked her pussy.”
“What’s the puthycat’s name?” She lost her front 2 teeth, so sometimes she lisped, and pussycat came out “Puthycat.”
“No, not a pussycat.” He flipped back a page, where they were standing next to each other, naked. “Those are their pussies.” He pointed back, and forth, but you have to understand that this was a while ago. So, Playboy didn’t show bush, they had OUI which was “Euro,” because they could show bush. Girls didn’t shave everything below their eyebrows, so even the Barely Legal teens had a little pubic hair, neatly trimmed in triangles, or “Porn star patches.” Sometimes even hearts, or arrows pointing down.
“Oh,” When we looked over at each other, her eyes were wide open, and I closed my mouth. So, my jaw must have dropped at that revelation, but these were “Big girls.” Teenagers, and then Randy flipped ahead a few pages to show us.
“Then, her brother.” He said my name, but of course one of the girls was named Bev, and the other had the same name as me. They just showed him looking through the door, while they got gay on the bed. She had sex toys, but all you could really see was the top of his pants, the bottom of his shirt, and he pulled out his zipper pull.
Then, he held his pants open to show the bulge in his pants, and it looked big. Real big, and then he pulled down his boxers so it stuck out. He held it out by the bottom, and then held it out all the way to the tip. (To show the stroke, in 2 panels, like a comic strip.) Then, he pulled his hand back, and it didn’t show him blowing his wad, but it didn’t show them sticking the vibrator in, either.
Again, legal behind the counter at the gas station softcore nudie mags. They couldn’t show penetration, so the girls were always pointing it at the hole. Looking over at the dong pointed at her cheek, with her mouth wide open, and this big stupid grin, but they did show a string. A clear string hanging off the bottom of the page from the head of his dick, to show that he ejaculated.
“Good night.” Randy got up, with a boner in his pants, and went out in the hall to peek through the crack in the door. So, we’d play lesbians, and encourage him to play with himself out in the hall. We both wanted to please him, make his dick hard, and play with it until he did the thing, but Beverly asked me, quietly.
‘is he gonna pee on the floor?’
I shook my head, ‘i don’t know, but we better get these night clothes off.’ We just took a bath, so she didn’t taste like pee, but it was all just putting on a show for Randy. We took turns, because the girls in the magazine didn’t 69, but I didn’t have any vibrators, butt plugs, or dildos to point at her holes, and face. We didn’t have any hair on our pussies, or breasts to squeeze, so we didn’t bother with nipple licking either.
We just took turns spreading our legs, and going down between them to lick each other’s pussies. Just like the big girls in the bedtime story, but we kept looking over at the door, to get glimpses of Randy watching, and playing with himself.
Then, he closed the door, so I got up, and turned out the tight. Beverly pulled the covers back, and we slept together naked, but we didn’t play any sex games later that night. We just cuddled, and got up in the morning. Beverly put on her clothes from the night before, and we went out to eat cereal for breakfast.
Randy agreed to walk us home, but he picked up Beverly like a backpack, and carried her piggy back all the way to her house. Then, I made him pick me up, and carry me home, but that’s how he made me jealous of her. He didn’t never come right out, and say that he liked her more, but he told me how pretty she was, and told her too. Which made me feel like Beverly was prettier than me, but I didn’t see her again until school started back up.
She told me she wasn’t allowed to play with me any more, and pushed me away. I guess she’s lucky that Randy went on to middle school, so she didn’t see him there every day, but she got her teeth back. So, she didn’t lisp when she told everyone I was a “Lesbian.” I didn’t find out about this until later, but before that.
I suppose my brother knew that it was wrong, and he stopped molesting me after Beverly left, because it was incest. I don’t know, I never got a chance to talk to him about it honestly, and he always avoided the question. So, he left me alone the rest of the summer, except for 2 times that stand out in my mind:
First of all, he started ejaculating, and showed me his handful of cum. He was so proud of himself, but he had his pants on, so I didn’t make the connection. I asked him what that white stuff was, and he said it was a treat. Told me it was “Yummy,” and made me lick it out of his palm. It wasn’t really all that great, but when he asked me if I liked it, I said “Yeah, it’s yummy.” I still didn’t know what it was until my first blowjob, when I remembered the taste.
The second thing was, he came in my room, and woke me up. ‘sh!’ He took me out to the hall, and showed me mom, and dad doing it on the bed. First thing in the morning, I assume dad had morning wood, so mom decided to give him head. They didn’t even get up to close the door, but we couldn’t really see anything.
Mom was bent over to his side of the bed, so her head, and nightgown covered the view. I could see her head bobbing up, and down. I think I even heard some quiet wet slurping noises, but I can’t really be sure about that. Dad never looked over, he had his eyes closed most of the time, and when he opened them, he looked down.
“Oh, honey. Yeah baby, faster.” She bobbed her head faster, and he said “Yeah baby,” and grunted. He squeezed his eyes tight, took a deep breath, and held it. I looked up at Randy, then down at his hand, rubbing his crotch, but then he ran back to his room before he finished. I went after him, but when they heard me knocking on his door. Mom, and dad got up, and asked me “What’s going on?”
“Oh, nothing.” I went back to my room, and got dressed, but I was starting to figure some things out. At first, I swear I thought that mommy was playing a sister game, and daddy was playing her big brother. Because the only times they closed the bedroom door was to have sex, they were quiet about it, but so far the only times I’d done, or seen any of that was with my brother, and Beverly.
So then, I bugged him to take me to the park. He didn’t want to, but I kept pestering him until mom made him (Dad had gone to work by then) So, I could make him tell me what mom, and dad were doing in bed. He told me it’s called a “Blow job,” and I made him get it out. He wasn’t hard, but I sucked it until it was hard enough to bob my head in his lap, just like mommy did.
He leaned back against a tree, with one leg up, but he petted my hair, and said “Yeah, that’s good. Just suck it like that.” He even slowed me down, but I remember dad telling her faster, faster. So, I slipped it in, and out of my lips as fast as I could. Just like he did with his fingers, I realized right away that it was just like when he got hard, and pinched it to beat off. Only with my lips until finally, he took a deep breath, held it, and blew his wad in my mouth.
“Mh!” I recognized the taste, immediately, and sat up to swallow it. He fixed his pants up, and took me home. I didn’t make the connection between that, and the drip from the magazine. Shining in the light through the door, because it wasn’t white. It was clear, so me, and Beverly thought that he’d peed.
That was it, kinda. At least till the end of the summer, he didn’t try to molest me, and I pretty much forgot about it, until I saw Beverly on lunch. She pushed me away, and told me she wasn’t allowed to hang out with me. Then, she told all her friends I was a lesbian, and explained what that ment, I assume.
3rd grade. The boys weren’t even calling each other fags, or everything gay yet. We literally hadn’t even heard of S.E.X. yet, let alone homosexuality. Word got around though, so later that year a 6th grader came up, and asked me if I was a Lesbian. I shook my head, and asked her “What’s that?”
“That means you like kissing girls, and licking pussy.”
“Oh,” I knew right away who she heard that from, but Lindsey (Not her real name, either.) always wore pants, and boxer shorts. She usually braided her hair, especially on the sides, and she liked braiding mine, too. So, we didn’t tickle each other’s thighs, eating each other out, but she was only 10, or 11. So, her legs weren’t that hairy yet, and she had a a few short pubes. Too many to count, (I tried) and training bras.
My first girlfriend. Yeah, she was a big old homo, didn’t play Softball, but that was about it. If her mom had let her cut her hair, she would have. I started bringing her over to play Lesbians, so my brother could watch. Eventually, I started enjoying it, and we fell in love, but that’s how I became bisexual. (I assume he never tried putting the moves on her, because she was too old, and started puberty.)
I know that, most gays and bisexuals are born that way, and always knew there was something different about them, at least. Before they could even put their finger on it, because we grew up in a straight society, and even in kindergarten, you start to realize that men, and women belong together.
Of course, my brother made me bisexual, by molesting me, and tricking me into playing lesbians to see my friend Beverly naked. I don’t know how to feel about that, to this day. I know that my brother’s a pedophile, and a child molester. I’m not really comfortable with that, but I don’t want him going to jail and getting registered, because he’s still my brother. I still love him, and I have to admit that his grooming made me the woman I am today.
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