My father sexually assaulted me on a number of occasions

Hi my name is George and I am a 24 year old man and would like to share my story.
When I was 10 me and my father used to go out on hunting trips were we would often travel a few days to get to the spots. It was often secluded and cut off from the rest of the nearest town. One time when we got to the camping spot and we’re setting up the camp me and my father were talking about how because off the way my mother treats him that he has been so deprived of love the past few years, he then began to say stuff like how I am always a good boy and that he would do anything to make sure that nothing could ever hurt me. Then he started to rub my shoulders in the tent and took my shirt off I tried to tell him not to because I was cold he simply replied with “ don’t worry not for long you won’t be”. He pinned me down with his knees and took my pants and underwear off. At this point I was very confused and cold so I started to cry and yell at him to stop. However he pulled down his pants and forced his dick into my mouth and violently thrusted my head back and forth. He eventually got off of me enough so I could stick my head out the tent were I then threw up. As I was throwing up he grabbed me by my hips and pulled me back into the tent and thrusted his dick inside of me. It hurt so much it was like it was actually tearing and felt like it was bleeding but he showed no sympathy and shoved my head onto the floor. The next thing I felt was him slowing down and I didn’t know it at the time but he came inside of me. He just sat there and looked at me after he was finished, he told me to “ wipe your asshole with your hand and like it off otherwise he would do it again so I did what he said and as I did he sat there and jerked off and as he was about to go again he pulled me closer and jammed my head down on it. I just remember trying to breath through my mouth and his dick slipping down my throat i gagged but he wouldn’t let me go and I felt all of the cum get let out inside my mouth as he pulled out.

He done a lot more stuff to me as a child this was just one of the first ones I could clearly remember. But I never told anyone this in fear of them thinking I was gay because me and my friends always used to make jokes about gay people and these occurrences made me extremely insecure.