Needing to be raped

I was raped when I was younger and became addicted to it. Now all I crave is being taken by force.

When I was 7, my 13 year old cousin, Joe, raped me repeatedly, and it changed my life, in a good way.

The first time was at thanksgiving, he came over with my aunt and uncle, after we had dinner and our parents were downstairs having a drink and a chat, Joe came upstairs and he just walked in to the bathroom where I was sitting on the toilet having a pee.

He pulled his cock out right in front of me and told me he had to pee, but I was peeing so couldn’t move, then he just stepped up close to me, placed his hand on the top of my head, then pushed his cock against my mouth.

I had my mouth tightly closed and was moving my head trying to get it away from my mouth, but he was bigger than me and really strong, eventually he managed to force it in to my mouth, he nipped my ear which made me open my mouth to say “Ouch.”, that’s when he managed to push his cock inside my mouth, and he mouth raped me.

I couldn’t scream or call out for help because he had his hand on the back of my head and he wouldn’t give me enough room to pull it back so I couldn’t get his cock out of my mouth to shout or speak, he was really pounding it in to my mouth, it was hitting the back of my throat and making me gag, but he just kept going and going until he finished and came in my mouth.

Then he threatened me and told me not to say anything about it to anyone, I was very young so did as I was told.

The next time was a few months later when we went on a camping trip, Joe and I went for a walk through the woods, just exploring, I had put the mouth rape incident behind me by then, so I wasn’t concerned that we were alone together in the woods, but I should have been.

When we were deep in to the woods and far away from anyone, he grabbed me and bent me over a fallen tree, hoisted up my skirt and pulled down my panties, then he held me down and pushed his cock inside my bum hole and raped me from behind, and he was calling me names while he did it, “You dirty little slut. You fucking little whore.” And it really hurt having his long hard cock in my bum.

He finished and again told me not to say anything, so I didn’t.

The next time was again a few months later, in the school break, we went to stay at my auntie and uncles house, and I had to sleep in Joe’s room with him, in his bed, which he was very happy about, and I found out why later that night.

I woke up in the middle of the night to find that he’d taken off my pyjama bottoms and panties, and he was under the sheets with his head between my legs, licking my pussy, when he saw that I was awake he quickly sat up and pushed his hand over my mouth before I could scream or say anything.

He reached inside his boxers and pulled out his cock, I knew he was going to hurt me again, he pushed it in to my pussy, really forcefully, and it hurt so bad, especially when he broke my hymen and it went inside me that first time, it was a really sharp pain, I could feel how hard his cock was as it moved inside me.

With his hard covering my mouth and holding me down on the bed, he raped me on his bed, again calling me names, “Ooh, you fucking slut. You good little whore.” and then he came inside me, by that time I’d learnt not to say anything to anyone, so he didn’t even have to threaten me, I just rolled on to my side and went to sleep when he was done having his way with me.

A few weeks later when I was back home, I kept waking up in the middle of the night, not with nightmares, but dirty dreams, I couldn’t stop thinking about him raping me, and it made my pussy wet, I started masturbating and closing my eyes, imagining Joe was raping me, and I liked it, it turned me on.
I had become addicted to cock, and I ended up having sex with random older boys from school, letting them use my body however they wished, if they hurt me while doing it, I liked it, I wanted them to force themselves on me and rape me like a good little whore.

To this day I love getting raped, the adrenaline amplifies the enjoying of sex.

I want to be raped. I need to be raped.

Rape me, rape me with your big hard cock.