I got bored waiting, so I went around back to smoke a cigarette.
My sister had soccer practice after school, so mom let me take the car and go pick her up. I showed up early, but it’s soccer. Practice, just a bunch of little girls running around, chasing the ball. Laps, cones, lining up for free-throws on the goalie, or whatever they call it in soccer.
Free kicks? I guess, but I’m not a pervert. Well, not that kind of pervert, it turns out. It’s a middle school, so it’s just a bunch of 12, and 13 year olds, like my sister. Even if I wanted to see something, there wasn’t much to see through their baggy uniforms, but then I went around the corner, and lit up.
Honestly, I wasn’t even thinking about that. Probably hanging out with my friends, if I didn’t have to come babysit my little sister. It’s just that, I’m not supposed to smoke on campus. Let alone around the middle school, so I tried to hide it. Then, I saw this piece of tape on the wall, and a phone behind it.
“What the?” I peeled it off, and sure enough it was a cell phone, with a cable attached to it. I pulled that out, and saw the pipes swing around until I held up the camera on the end. My face looked surprised on the screen, but I had my mask pulled down so I could smoke. I had both my shots, but I got used to wearing a mask, and around schools. It’s better than talking to the security guards about why I’m not wearing my mask.
TWEET! I dropped it, and stubbed it out. Pulling on the mask while the girls ran off to “Hit the showers. I’m locking up in 20 minutes.” The coach said, and I cut the recording with my thumb, but starting it over from the beginning.
“Huh,” there was a view down the hall. It looked like stalls, only instead of swinging doors, there were shower curtains pulled back, and a girl walked past. Fully clothed, but she crossed her arms to pull up her top, and disappeared past the end of the hall.
I’m kinda glad I didn’t see anything more than her hip, and her abs. I mean, yeah she’s probably 13, an 8th grader, but athletic, of course. It’s not like I was peeping on them, but I still felt a little perverted. No boner, but just the thought of that being my sister changed my surprise into anger. At least I caught it before the girls got undressed, and hit the showers. Including my little sister, but I stopped the recording, and found the files to delete it.
Of course, there was a lot more video files on here. “Shit.” I just checked, to make sure. Sure enough, it was child porn. Most of the girls reached out of the shower curtain to grab a towel, hanging off the hooks between them, but we all had one big shower room. In the boy’s locker room, urinals along the wall too, but this was the girl’s room. So, they had more privacy, but then another girl stepped out. Naked except for a patch of pubic hair between her legs, and took the towel down to scrub her hair dry.
She shaved her arm-pits, and legs, and she barely had any more than nipples, but she dried off her abs, and scrubbed her pubes. Then, another girl stepped out in front of the camera, with a towel wrapped around her back, and over her butt to the top of her legs.
So, I just went back to the files, and started deleting them. All of them, before I saw my own sister naked, or even in a towel. I love my sister, but not in any sick way. Yeah, I knew she was growing up, but I consider myself good enough a big brother.
I shook my head, remembering 1984. I mean the book, I wasn’t even alive in 1984, because we’re millennials, but we had to read it. It’s kind of apropos now that there really are cameras everywhere, but I thought for sure that it would be one of the faculty. A dirty old man setting up a camera to record the soccer team, while he’s grading papers, or cleaning out toilets somewhere else in the building.
Then, I assumed a janitor, or maintenance man. Because there was this big giant pipe, with the phone taped up behind it, but the hole in the wall was a little bit larger than the pipe itself, and water started rushing through it.
As little tweens, and 13 year old girls got in the showers, and turned them on. I had to think of my sister, so the only thing I felt rising was my anger. I bet I could get him fired for this, whoever he was. Even if he had tenure, but I bet it was somebody that worked on the pipes, or cleaned out the locker rooms after the girls left.
Was it the coach? Mr. Jonsen just said he’d be locking up in 20 minutes, to rush them into the showers, but what’s with letting a male coach run the girl’s soccer team, anyways? Nobody in the school district thought that might be a little weird? Hell, I didn’t think it was weird when he coached me, and the Peewee football team, back when I went to school here.
Now what am I going to do? I just destroyed all the evidence, afraid that my little sister (No, I’m not using her real name, or even making one up.) might be on one of those videos. As many as there were on here, it was almost guaranteed. I didn’t want him looking at her naked again, in her underwear, or even a towel. Hell, fully clothed, or dressed out for soccer practice. Anywhere near her, or any of the other girls in this school.
I wanted him in jail, where the only people he’d see in the shower were other men, scared that they might look over, and get a hardon for him. How would he like that?
“Uh,” then a boy came around the corner. “What are you doing with my phone?” I held it back. “Give it!” He tried jumping, but he was too short to reach it, so I grabbed his shirt.
“You little punk.”
“Let go.”
“I should ask you the same thing, but I know exactly what you left it here for. Sick little fuck.”
“Uhn!” I dropped it to grab him in both hands, and swung him around. Pushed him back against the wall so hard, I practically punched him in the chest with both fists, balled up in his jacket. “Let go of me, faggot!” He tried to knee me in the balls, but he missed, and then I realized I was rock hard.
Now, I’m not gay. I even shook my head, about to protest, but in the back of my mind. I ignored it, but I was already starting to get chubby when I thought about. The first homosexual thought I ever really indulged in was him. Not this whiny little perp, but coach Jonsen in jail. I guess I projected myself on one of the other inmates.
Maybe a gay inmate, and maybe not. You realize that not all of the sexual abuse in prison is homos. They also use it for dominance, and revenge. I’m not making excuses, after the fact, but that’s what it was. Revenge for my sister, and all those other girls who’s privacy he invaded, but I pushed him down.
“I’ll show you a fag.” Grabbed his mouth, and dug my thumb in between his teeth, so he couldn’t bite, or scream. Reaching for my fly, and unzipping it right in front of him. His eyes went wide, and he tried to look away. Shut them, but once I let the rage take over, I surprised myself.
I never noticed before, but Mr. Jonsen. He’s blond, and blue eyed. Even his eyebrows, so you know he’s a natural blond, and his hairy calves sticking out of his shorts in warm weather.
Swedish, Finnish, or Norwegian, one of them. That’s why he spells it Jonsen with an E. He told us which northern European country his family name came from, but that was a couplefew years ago, and I was just thinking how he’d look to a bunch of bull-queers in the showers.
“Go on.” I let go of his mouth. “You know what to do, but if you bite me, or I even feel your teeth. I’ll rip your little prick off, so you’ll never get laid, you fucking virgin.” I figured that’s why he was so desperate, if he was getting any, he wouldn’t be setting up a camera to look at little girls in the locker room.
“Oomph!” His cheeks puffed out, when he wrapped his mouth around my cock, and I shoved it in hard. “ULGH! GRLGH!” Held it deep in his throat, then pulled it out so he could breathe. “KHAGH!” Spit.
“I don’t have to fuck you so hard, if you just suck it. Go on, suck it. Huh!” He looked up, with a mad look on his face, but he opened his mouth. Pulled it down, and started sucking, so I didn’t have to force him. Rape his face, but I closed my eyes, and imagined my girlfriend. “Huh!” I felt his hair, in both hands. “Yeah, good little cock sucker.”
Her smile, around it. The first time she gave me head, and finger banging her to a squealing orgasm when she finished. Her tits when she pulled her dress off, and slipped her bra strap down. Her cunt hair puffing out the front of her panties before she pulled them down, and the jock straps.
“Huh?” I shook my head, but I already thought I heard. You looking at my cock? Of course not, I never even wanted to. Same with the ass pats, and calling each other fags. The wet towel snaps, and Coach Jensen calling us ladies. All right, ladies. Hit the showers, and I don’t want to see any grabass in there.
“Uh, fuck huh!” I pulled out, feeling close, but I had to grab it, and finish off by hand.
“Nhm!” He bit both lips, and squeezed his eyes shut, but I couldn’t imagine he was my girlfriend, or any other girl. He was just a scared little boy, and a pervert. Yeah, he used his phone, with some sort of camera on a stalk to peep on my little sister, but that didn’t make this right. It wasn’t gay, but I overdid it. I just shut my eyes, and shook my head. Holding my breath, but it was too late. I already blew my wad all over his head, and got some on the back of my hand, too.
“Huh,” I gasped, and pulled my underwear up. Dropped it in over my balls, and fumbled for the zipper.
“Ugh, ptooh!” He wiped off his cheeks, and shook his hands to fling it in the dirt. “Sick fucking faggot.”
“Huh!” I turned to go, and then I saw them. The whole squad watching me. My little sister looked so shocked, and disappointed in me, but some of her team mates giggled through their hands.
“Oh, you poor boy. Are you okay?”
“Don’t feel sorry for him, do you know what he’s been doing this whole time?”
“Come on.” My sister grabbed my hand. “Ew.” She wiped her thumb off on my shirt. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re bi?”
“I’m not, I.” Shook my head, “I. I don’t think. I wasn’t thinking, I was just so pissed off, but it wasn’t even sex.”
“It sure looked like gay oral sex!” She giggled, and shook her her little fists up in front of her.
“No, that’s not what it was.” Then, the guilt set in, and I realized what I’d done.
“What was it then?”
I couldn’t say it, but the word repeated in my head. Rape, I just raped a 12, or 13 year old boy.
“Huh, I guess you’re right, it was a little bisexual, I just didn’t know myself.” I lied, and tried to shrug it off, but then I got paranoid, and scared.
“Well, what was he doing back there?”
“Huh, he had his phone, taped up behind this pipe, that feeds the showers inside, but there’s a crack around it.”
“Oh, the T pipe? On the inside, I guess it’s just an elbow outside.” She even held her arm up, with her elbow bent to demonstrate.
“At the back of the hall, with the showers in it.” I nodded. “He had a camera in there, to record you showering, but I stopped him before you finished practice, and went in to shower.”
“Oh good.”
“You think they’re.” I shook my head. Realizing he’d been punished enough, but there’s no justice in that.
“I don’t know if he can get it up again so quick after all that gay sex, or for girls,” but she squealed with giggles again, and did that girly thing with her hands. Again, she does that. Shakes her fists up at shoulder level, and sometimes kicks her feet in the air, when she’s sitting down. We had to cross the track, and the soccer field to get to the trees, and then the park where I parked.
It just pisses me off that he’s getting rewarded for that sick behavior. After I punished him so hard. Too hard really, but I know how things escalate. First you get bullied by a 6th grader, and then you hit puberty, and I remember that football jock that used to beat me up, when I was a little boy. What I did to him when I hit puberty, and I was big enough to sucker punch him.
“Gay, and bi boys are so hot.” It turned her on, so I guess that. Rape scene turned on the whole soccer team? That’s fucked up, but it’s nothing compared to losing my cool, and raping his face.
“Really?” I just shook my head, but we got to the car, so I fished the keys out, to hit the door lock.
“Yeah? Come on, man.” She got in and shut the door. “You know, it’s just like you watching lesbos. Especially when one’s really butch, with hairy legs, a boy cut.” She pulled her damp hair out of the ponytail, and shook it over her shoulder, to pull out the seatbelt. “And a strapon.” She held up both hands, but she didn’t giggle, or squeal. Sitting down, she could have kicked her feet, but instead, she held her hands up. Both hands, wide open, and grasping at the air in front of her. “Big, fat. Tits to motorboat. Woobubububoo!”
“Hahuh?” I managed to laugh, and forget about. All that guilt, fear, and yeah. Even lingering arousal at just finding out that I’m not gay, but if I’m mad enough, I can rape a boy, if I feel like he deserves it. “Really? You’re into that sort of thing, too?”
“Yeah, of course! What do you think we do in the locker room, when coach isn’t looking?”
“Well, it’s a good thing, because. Wait, you, and.” I tried to think of a name.
“Jesse, especially.” She nodded. “She’s so hot, and muscular, and strong, and dominant.”
“I didn’t even know you’re sexual, yet.” Let alone bisexual, but then I remembered Jessica. Her face covered in a mask, before they got all their shots, so they could go back to playing soccer. Same with the Jr. Varsity football team, the school nurse immunized us first.
She laughed, “What are you kidding? We’re 13, don’t you remember when you’re 13, and jerking off 3 times a day in the bathroom?”
“Well,” more than that. “Yeah.” Before I got a girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom at school, just to keep from getting embarrassing boners in class. She goes by Jesse now, and she got a haircut, but I just chalked it up to Miley Cyrus. Pretty much nothing but bangs, halfway around her head on 1 side, and shaved on the other. Short in the back, like a boy, or a dyke.
Big fat tits to motorboat, for a 14 year old. She’s not a soccer jock, she just hangs out with the soccer team. She should probably be a freshman, but she got held back, to hang around the soccer girls after school…
“Huh, besides, you know how middle school boys are.”
“Perverts?” Maybe it’s a double standard, thinking that it’s okay for Jesse to do that, because she’s a dyke. At least she’s not going to get my sister pregnant?
“Some, yeahbut they don’t have the balls to come up, and talk to you. So, how else are you supposed to lose your virginity, wait until you’re married?”
“Hahah, I guess not.”
“So, he had a camera set up to watch us showering?”
“Getting out of the shower, I guess. You don’t get out, and towel off in the hall, do you?”
“I don’t know, sometimes? It’s not like I’m afraid of the girls seeing me naked.” She giggled.
“Yeah, but some of them reached out to grab a towel, and dry off behind the curtain.”
“Oh,” she nodded, “Well, there’s not a lot of room in the little hall. So, you don’t get in each other’s way, when you get out.”
“That makes sense. We don’t have that kind of arrangement, in the boy’s rooms.”
“Huh, what’s it like? You got urinals in there?”
“Yeah, but there’s just 1 big room, for the showers.”
“I bet you could all get in a big gay orgy then, with the soap to buttfuck.”
“Yeah, I guess, but that never happened. Even if you are gay, you try to hide it, so you don’t get beat up. There’s a lot of homophobia to ruin it for the gay, and bi guys. I guess we have the coach to keep an eye on us, so that sort of thing doesn’t happen.”
She lowered her voice, “I don’t want to hear any grabass in there,” she impersonated Mr. Jonsen, and nodded, giggling. “Like that’s gonna stop us, it only gave us ideas.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” She got quiet, which made me uncomfortable. Again, I could think about what I didn’t want to think about, even though I knew I should. I’m not gay, but it’s not hard to imagine doing it again. Rape, gay rape, and if that pervy little fuck tells on me, he’s got witnesses. I could go to jail, and I’m a running back.
A pretty damned good running back, a shoe in for Senior Varsity next year, especially with the short season. The overlap with girl’s soccer, since we had that long summer, and short spring semester to cram everything together this year.
I think about my team mates, even looking over at me naked, or checking out my butt, and it just feels gay. Nasty, and a complete turnoff, but then I think about him. That boy, and picking him up like a rag doll. The rage, and the boner, already getting chubby again. Choking on it, then giving up, and sucking me off, so I don’t do it again.
I’m actually one of the smaller guys on the team, of course. A running back, so it’s actually an advantage when you have to squeeze through the pileup so you’re open, then run the field. As far as you have to go to get a touchdown before you get tackled.
Of course, a lot of them are black, but it’s not like they all have BBCs. I went to PE, and there were plenty of black boys in there, too. Little guys, and big guys, but of course. We just get the big ones on the football team. If they’re tall, they get on the basketball team, so their cocks are probably long, but not that thick.
“Huh, I guess I am, a little bi curious.”
“Well, if you’re not sure after that blow job.”
It wasn’t a blow job. Well, I guess it was, after I raped his face to make him do it, but that’s not exactly consent. I hurt him, on purpose. Then, I threatened him, he only sucked me off so I didn’t rape his throat again. I didn’t rape his ass, but I didn’t have to, one she gave up, and sucked me off. I can definitely imagine bending him over, and pulling down his pants. I’d done anal with girls, and it’s not gay if you do it to a girl. It’s not gay if he’s straight.
It’s rape. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Maybe she didn’t see that part. Of course, they barely got in the showers before I grabbed him. Picked him up like he weighed nothing, and forced him back in the corner, where he couldn’t get away.
HONNNEeear! Don’t close your eyes.
“Hey, watch the road, you trying to get us killed?”
“No, I.” I’m having flashbacks, I think. Don’t close your eyes, even if that would end it all, I don’t want to take my little sister with me. “Snh!” I don’t want her to see me crying either, but if she’d come out one minute earlier, she would have seen me.
Rape him. “Uh, oh god!” I had to pull over.
“Oh my god, are you crying?”
“Gnoh?” I had to turn away, then stomp on the brake when we started rolling, and feel blindly for the gear shift. She pulled it for me, and pulled the keys out of the car.
“You want to talk about it?”
“No,” I almost took the door off, with a pickup truck blowing past on the highway, but he swerved. Hit the horn too late, but I just slammed it, and pulled out my pack. “Huh, huhHhuh!” I dropped them, but I managed to hold onto one, and I bent over. Threw up when I imagined someone grabbing me from behind. In the shower, naked and wet, after I dropped the soap.
“Ugh, spit!” Then, that kid, gagging, and spitting after I throat raped him. “YEAGH! Yech, spit! Hrugh!” I managed to get my mask pulled down before I threw up. He didn’t even wear a mask. Some criminal mastermind, he took his mask off to check his camera, when he had the perfect excuse to cover his face. Hell, it was mandatory, even if you had your shots.
“Have you been drinking?”
“Huh, no.” I looped mine back over my ears, just to hide my face. “Of course not.” Put my head back down on my knees.
“So, this must be some homophobic boy bullshit then, huh?”
No, “Yeah?” It’s not even the thought of sodomy that made me puke. It was knowing that I was sick enough to do that to a boy, or a smaller man. As long as he didn’t want it, and I told myself he deserved it. Of course not, nobody deserves rape, but I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t drinking, so I can’t blame it on that. Half a cigarette sure didn’t make me do it.
“I didn’t know, oh god I didn’t know I could do that!”
“So, you got a BJ from a middle school boy.” she leaned over the trunk, to look at me curled up against the bumper. “Big deal, that doesn’t make you a child molester.”
No, but it makes me a rapist. I just sobbed, since I ran out of Doritos in my stomach. I don’t even drink, I shouldn’t smoke either, but it’s a nasty habit, and I guess I’m an addict. A rapist, a sick fucking rapist. I tried to tell myself that he deserved it, but that doesn’t make it right. It’s not justice, and now he’s probably drowning in all the tweenage tits he can handle, because I made them feel sorry for him, after the they saw what I’d done, but my sister was right there too.
That was the worst part. I hate to lie to her, but she’s the last person I want to know, now that I know what I’m capable of. Now that I’m a rapist.
Oh,” she got down, and hugged me. “It’s okay, I know it feels weird after your first time.”
“Did it feel weird, your first time?” I sniffed, and wiped my nose on the mask. Smelled used doritos, so I took it back off.
“Yeah, a little. Huh!” She leaned back, with her head against the trunk, and thought. Long enough for the dirty feelings, and remorse to start creeping up…
“With Jessica?”
“I guess I was confused, because she didn’t tell me.”
“She’s gay.”
“No bi. But really butch. She’s a top, so she likes to peg boys. you think Jonathan likes getting pegged?”
“I don’t know.” I didn’t know his name was Johnathan, but that didn’t make me feel any better.
“Oh, you haven’t gotten into anal yet.”
“I’ve got a girlfriend.” I nodded, shook my head, “But not with him.” Damnit, I never wanted to not bust a chubby before in my whole life, and not just because my sister was right here. Squatting on the side of the road, and holding my head in her arm.
“Hhihn! Too bad they only have 1 strapon, but maybe she’ll let them share, and take turns.”
“Reverse gangbaning him?”
“Huh, yeah. That’d be hot, I guess.” She didn’t sound convinced.
“You guess?”
“It’s way hotter with a bunch of guys, and real dicks. You know, a dildo’s not a good substitute for the real thing?” She shook her head, “Oh sorry. Of course you do. Does Steph have a strapon?”
“No,” I thought, “But I guess she could get one.” She is 19.
“Well, if she does nail you, can I watch?”
“No? God, I don’t even know if I want to bottom for her, or anyone.” But, butt… I guess I deserve it.
“Oh, you’re a top, of course. that makes sense.”
“I don’t know, I didn’t even know I was bi. You like it?”
“What, anal?’” She shook her head, “I don’t know, I’ve got a pussy.”
“Ugh!” I pushed her arm off, and got up. Waited for a break in traffic, before I did something stupid. Like jump in front of a truck, right in front of her.
“Huh!” If she hadn’t been there, I might have done it. “Lets go home. I need a shower.” I feel that dirty, and aren’t you supposed to compulsively shower when you get raped, not when you find out you’re a rapist?
“Well, I just had one, but don’t worry.” She patted my shoulder. “I stayed in the shower stall when I dried off.”
“Thanks.” She remembered. “Now, don’t distract me. I want to get you home in 1 piece.”
Of course I jacked off in the shower. Soaped up my ass, and fingerbanged myself roughly, just to see what it feels like. “How do you like it, you sick fuck?”
I have to admit, I kinda did…
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